Intimacy in isolation
She has embarked on a study to examine the relationship between intimacy and passion, and these interesting times in which couples have currently been thrust is proving to be a supreme scenario for relationship researchers.
“The COVID situation has created an optimal testing environment to see whether this intensified closeness does in fact increase passion,” says Carswell.
“Perhaps during this time of isolation individuals are disclosing more to their partner that they might not have normally shared, so they could get an increase in knowledge about their partner and subsequently more intimacy in their relationship as well.”
Awarded one of UTM’s prestigious Postdoctoral Fellowship Awards in Social Sciences, of which there were only two prize recipients from a large pool of nominations, Carswell is based in Professor Emily Impett’s Relationship and Well-Being Lab. The primary focus of her research is studying long-term romantic passion, beliefs about passion, and maintaining passion. She also examines the balance of personal goals, and how ambitions and personal pursuits interplay with relationships and individual passions.
“What the research has shown us so far, is that believing you can get passion back in a relationship helps you to maintain commitment to that relationship,” says Carswell.
By way of contrast, she says if an individual believes they cannot get the passion back then they may feel it is not worth the effort to continue to invest in that relationship.
“Individuals who have maintained the belief that you can recover passion in a relationship – that it isn’t just a magical happening but something you can work on – seem to be able to maintain commitment even during dips in passion. This is particularly important as we have really come to value passion in relationships as a society and culture, more and more so around the world.”
Inevitably however, the current coronavirus situation creates unique challenges for couples sequestered at home, and this moment in time has interesting links with Carswell’s previous studies.
For example, one of her and her colleagues’ lines of inquiry examines the concept of “couple-identity clarity,” which is a couple’s perception of who they are as a couple. Carswell says this can be in a significant state of flux right now if there are pressures related to a partner’s job loss, or increased or redistributed parental duties, or even the absence of sociality and activity that a couple might usually have as part of their relationship, such as trivia nights at the local pub or working out at the gym together. Seeing new aspects of your partner in this changed environment might reframe how you see yourself in your relationship, but she says it could be an opportunity for growth as a couple.
The other related concept Carswell has examined is the “suffocation of marriage,” which reflects how much we depend on our partners to fulfill needs, such as personal growth or self-esteem, in relation to our happiness and wellbeing. During the current situation individuals might be relying more on their partners because they could be the main person they are interacting with all day while casual interactions with friends or co-workers have decreased. She says keeping up the Zoom calls, Skype or FaceTime with friends is another important step to offset some of this dependency.
Most promising is a recent study Carswell undertook as part of a team that demonstrated individuals who engaged in more creative pursuits tended to maintain passion over time.
Using the Creative Behavior Inventory (CBI), a 90-item checklist of activities that participants fill in, the researchers were able to evaluate levels of creativity among individuals. Carswell says the CBI assessment includes everyday shades of creativity, such as improvising with a new recipe or even writing a scientific paper.
Her team then looked at the pattern of an individual’s passion for their partners, which concluded with a visit to the lab by both partners for a brief physical intimacy task. The individuals who were more creative had increased levels of passion at the end of the nine-month study.
Ultimately, it’s creative behaviours and fortitude that could potentially help couples weather the current topsy-turvy time.
“It is important to keep in mind that a lot of the things we are dealing with right now aren’t necessarily forever, and that a relationship could be fruitful and satisfying for many years in the future,” says Carswell.
“Right now, we are living out of the ordinary, and so there’s lots of opportunities for couples to go through these shared, novel experiences together that, in a way, can help strengthen their bonds and increase passion and excitement.”